


Drive Me Barking Mad

by terushimaYUUcrankthatsouljaboi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dogs, Gen, Grooming, M/M, Warning: Feces Mention, Warning: Vomit Mention, dog grooming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8561113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terushimaYUUcrankthatsouljaboi/pseuds/terushimaYUUcrankthatsouljaboi
Summary: Iwaizumi owns a dog grooming shop. Fuzzy shenanigans ensue.





	1. Kyoutani Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire fic is based off my own experience as a dog groomer. If there are any questions or things you'd like to clarify please don't hesitate to ask!
> 
> Just want to make a note: there will be mentions of vomit and feces in later chapters, and there may be urination and/or blood mentions. If you are squeamish or sensitive to any of that I would recommend putting this fic away and reading something much nicer :)

Kyotani was facing his doom. He stared through the glass door into the depths of hell and grimaced, the scowl that seemed to be permanently etched on his face deepening. A hand made its way to his shoulder, gripping the smock he was wearing and then patted him awkwardly.

 

“It’s not going to get any cleaner if you keep staring at it,” Iwaizumi said from beside him.

 

“I know that, I’m just… preparing myself,” Kyotani muttered, adjusting the spray bottle and roll of paper towels under his arm and wishing he had a blowtorch or something of that magnitude. He sighed heavily, then pushed open the door and immediately stopped breathing through his nose.

 

*earlier that day*

 

“Kentaro can you get that?” Iwaizumi yelled above the dryer as the phone continued to ring. Kyotani kept his eye glued to the pomeranian on his grooming table as he reached across the desk and grabbed the cordless phone before moving back and putting a hand on the dogs back to keep it from falling off the table with excitement.

 

“Seijoh Pet Salon, this is Kyotani.”

 

“Hi my name is Yahaba and I was referred to you by my veterinarian?”

 

“Uh huh, what kind of a dog do you have?”

 

“Oh! Um she’s a 2 year old Corgi, she’s really sweet, I-”

 

“How much brushing does she need?”

 

“I, um, she definitely needs to be brushed.”

 

“Is she shedding?”

 

“No, that is, no more than usual? I’m really flexible timewise if that’s-”

 

“Can you do this afternoon?”

 

“Oh, sure! Yeah I’m free today.”

 

“We have an appointment at one o’clock if you are available then.”

 

“I am! This is great, thank you so much.”

 

Kyotani grunted. “We’ll see you at one.”

 

The pomeranian yipped at him as he hung up and stuffed the phone in his smock pocket. Her tiny head butted his hand and she looked up at him expectantly. A small smile crooked the corners of his mouth up and he scratched her behind the ear before returning to brushing out her fur.

 

“Kentaro.” He looked up and Iwaizumi was in front of his table holding the damp toy poodle he had been drying in the tub. Kyotani raised an eyebrow, his boss never spoke like that unless he had scheduled three big dogs in the same appointment bracket.

 

“You could try being polite to our customers, they’re the only ones we have.” Iwazumi ignored the poodles attempts at licking his neck and chin while staring his employee down. Kyoutani flushed a bit, embarrassed at being caught out with an insecurity he had yet to get over, and bit back a sharp retort. Instead he looked down at the hair collected around the base of his table and nodded.

 

“Majesty is coming today.” His head snapped back up. The look on Iwaizumi’s face betrayed nothing if you didn’t know him well enough but Kyotani had been working for him for three years and he knew exactly what the tension around his eyes and tight lips meant.

 

“Oikawa.”


	2. Meet the Groomers

The Seijoh Pet Salon had been open for roughly five years, making it a fairly new business in a large town. There were a few small grooming shops scattered around the area but they ranged from Very Disappointing Work to Horror Stories Happen Here. In fact, there were only two places where pet owners could reliably attain healthy, safe and clean animals under the same roof and both were run by fairly scary looking individuals who happened to be extremely nice if you actually talked to them.

One, Iwaizumi Hajime, had been working in the grooming business for his entire life. His parents had been small town veterinarians and he had trained at a young age how to safely clip a dog for surgery and how to bathe an unruly mutt in the large tub they had set up in the back. Iwaizumi loved animals, had grown up around them, and when he moved away after high school he already knew he wanted to open his own shop. Running your own business was a taxing job. Iwaizumi did not account for the amount of pet owners in the nearby area who required their furbabies to be pampered to perfection and as he was extremely capable (although he would never brag about his own abilities Iwaizumi knew there were standards and he had them) he had an influx of customers in no time.

This of course required him to hire an extra hand. Two in fact. Two hands belonging to an equally scary faced boy who Iwaizumi found volunteering at the local animal shelter while he was there donating some extra supplies that had been included for free in his last order of shampoo and combs. Kyoutani had been calming down a pit bull mix who was shaking and wearing a muzzle while getting its nails trimmed in the room next to the lobby. The wide eyed mutt was focusing on his hands rubbing its ears and his voice as he talked to it while the woman clipped its nails with accuracy, having more freedom to do so because of the distractions the scary faced boy was providing. Iwaizumi watched this event unfold carefully, thinking just how useful having an assistant would be on days when he wanted to take the shears to his eye.

A short conversation later and Kyoutani was employed at Seijoh Pet Salon.

The second person, who reminded people of a house and tended to move like a bulldozer which made it equally as frightening when he was walking towards you, was Ushijima Wakatoshi, the owner of The Shiratorizawa Dog Grooming Academy. Iwaizumi actually had an interview at the school about attending and working there, but had left rather quickly and refused to stop complaining to his newest friends about the sheer nerve Ushijima had to call his work ‘half-rate’ over drinks that night.

His friends, both vets at the clinic closest to his shop, told him Ushijima was always like that although they did mention in very soft voices that he did good work and they never had any issues with dogs being hurt at his school.

Thus, the only two places in the area where one could go for reliable and safe care of their pets was either Shiratorizawa or Seijoh.


	3. Oikawa Tooru loves his dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting double because the last chapter was so woefully uneventful :)
> 
> Enjoy Oikawa at his finest.

Kyoutani loved working for Iwaizumi-san. He expected hard work and always told Kyoutani if he needed to correct something, but he was fair and patient and Kyoutani held the greatest respect for him.

On days like these Kyoutani’s respect grew ever further.

“Well, because it’s getting colder do you think she should be a bit longer? I wouldn’t want her little paws to freeze.”

“I can guarantee you Oikawa-san that cutting her hair longer will not affect her temperature at all.”

A blinding smile, that leaves Iwaizumi-san unaffected, “I told you to call me Tooru.”

Iwaizumi’s eye twitches. “Oikawa-san I can tell you that in my experience when a goldendoodle with Majesty’s fur goes any longer than she is right now and wades through slush and snow the fur will not dry properly and tends to matt. Badly. I would suggest, for Majesty’s sake, that we keep her at the length she is now, especially if you want to extend your appointment schedule.”

A soft sigh. “If you insist. I do have to push her next appointment out a few weeks because I have a shoot in Spain and won’t be back in time.” A flip of that hair would leave anyone breathless but Iwaizumi seems unfazed. Kyoutani’s respect grows an inch more. “Maybe if I brought her in before I leave and made another appointment afterwards?”

Iwaizumi stares for a second, before glancing down at the schedule and back up again. “I suppose if you made more appointments we could go to the length you would like, and if you continue to brush her in between.” This was said with a hint of warning and at that Oikawa beams.

“Of course! We love our little bonding time combies, don’t we princess?” Kyoutani wants to vomit but the way the dog is wagging her tail while understanding none of what Oikawa is saying is enough to keep down the bile threatening to overwhelm his mouth. Iwaizumi nods.

“Alright, we’ll take her longer today and I’ll schedule her more often for the next two appointments. If you don’t like the cut or want to go any shorter next time let me know and we can reschedule it to her normal routine.”

Oikawa winks at him and Kyoutani swears he can see the tendons in Iwaizumi’s neck forcibly tighten. “Oh I always love your work Iwa-chan, I don’t think there’s anything you couldn’t make me fall in love with.”

For the first time Kyoutani is not sure if he’s hallucinating as he watches a faint red color fade onto the back of Iwaizumi’s neck. “Yeah, well, we try our best to make the customer happy.”

Oikawa leans over the counter. “You certainly make me very happy Iwa-chan.” A pause occurs, during which Kyoutani is sure he’s about to see Iwaizumi reach across the counter but he’s as of yet unsure if he’s going to punch or kiss the stupidly pretty face looking up at him through extremely long lashes (seriously, does the man always wear mascara) but the moment is broken when Majesty decides to join her owner on the counter and places her front paws not-so-gently on the laminate to begin licking his neck and chin.

“Oof, Majesty! Oh sweetie you know I love you don’t you? You’re gonna go for a spa day with Iwa-chan, isn’t that nice? Yes it is, yes you’re gonna look so pretty mhmm, kisses for daddy c’mere sweetie!”

Kyoutani wants to vomit again.


End file.
